Things that get said in the pickup: The thing about shaving...

 

Not quite coffee on the couch, but it was a Sunday morning and we were bumping our way into town for a quick stop at Sylvia's house: 

"Can you add some soda for Noah on your grocery list today?"

"Yup."

"We need to remember to cut my hair today too."

"If you come up with anything else you're going to need to make a list."

Pause for about a minute of quiet

"I need to shave today too."

"That's it, that's three, you need to write it down."

"What?  It's two things?

"Nope, three.  Grocery list, haircut and shave."

"Yeah but I passed off groceries to you so that doesn't count."

 "You need me for the haircut too, so now my list has two things, am I shaving your face too?"

"Oh my God, THAT would not go well!"

"Hey!  I'd just need you to tell me if I'm move the razor up or down. I'd be fine."

"I mean I sure you COULD do it, but we may end up with more problems than doing it myself"

"What? Why not?  I shave my legs all the time..."

Cue the super snarky side eye and questionable snort from the seat beside me...

"Ok that's a lie.  I don't know why I said that.  I shave my legs routinely?  No, that's not it either, I shave my legs INTERMITTENTLY!  And besides, there is a lot more surface area on my legs than your face." 

"Uh huh.  Sure."

"Come on! I've been shaving my legs for like 35 years at this point, WAY longer than you've been shaving your face!"

"You've been doing it longer, but I think I have you beat on frequency."

"There was a time where I actually shaved 2-3 times a week."

Again with the look of casual disbelief...

"Shut Up!  I did!  It used to happen.  It long before we got married but it happened."

"So what are you saying." 

"We used to be skinny too, what's your point?"

Laughter erupts from the seat beside me this time. 

"Oh baby, the things we manage to talk about.  People would think we were nuts if they heard half of what we said." 

"I love you though."

"I love you too Hunsy Babesy."